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Iskanderia

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I read the first 20 pages of FSOG and in the span of what sounded like a 10 minute conversation between the two main characters, the "woman" blushed probably a dozen times. What adult acts like that? She's in her early twenties and acting like a 14 year-old with a crush. I haven't even gotten to a sex scene yet and I'm already starting to understand the reviewers on Amazon who have called the main character immature and said the book sounded like it was written by a teenager.

Hopefully the main character will begin acting like a grown up sooner rather than later, because I don't know if I can put up with a book about the emotions of a teenager.
 

PureElegance

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I read the first 20 pages of FSOG and in the span of what sounded like a 10 minute conversation between the two main characters, the "woman" blushed probably a dozen times. What adult acts like that? She's in her early twenties and acting like a 14 year-old with a crush. I haven't even gotten to a sex scene yet and I'm already starting to understand the reviewers on Amazon who have called the main character immature and said the book sounded like it was written by a teenager.

Hopefully the main character will begin acting like a grown up sooner rather than later, because I don't know if I can put up with a book about the emotions of a teenager.
I think the second and third books are way better than the first, actually. The first is really "amateur" I guess XD

I don't understand why it's a big deal that she blushes a lot though, even though I agree that it's written down too much. It's practically her first real love too and I don't blame her for blushing and getting so excited. She doesn't blush as much in the second or third books though, and there's way less of that "inner goddess" thing.

The first book is kind of forgettable save for a couple of scenes that were sweet, but the second and third book deals with Christian's past and emotional issues and Anastasia trying to deal with them and trying to maintain her independence. She (and Christian) gets way more mature and serious in the last two novels. I haven't finished the third yet, but it's gotten so intense. Of course, there's drama like a soap opera, but fundamentally it's about Christian and Ana's relationship.

I was in a car with some girls and women, and we were talking about how interesting it got in the second book because you find out more about Christian. I was like, "I know! It's gotten so interesting!" We talked about how detailed Christian is and if the author knew anyone like that personally. His tones, language, and gestures are spot on, and I love them. He's too extreme for real life, but there are people like him in some ways. I guess you need to climb over the first book and introduce everyone to get deeper into the issues. The first book, even though I liked it, reminded me of a manga and I thought it was a bit silly, but I haven't felt that way with the second and third books.

There was an argument between Christian and Ana about her changing her last name at work and it was so intense, even my heart was pounding. Not sure why it affected me so much like that, but ugh.


Misconceptions:

1. Ana never signs a contract with Christian. She never becomes a submissive and her defiance and strong personality is why Christian loves her.
2. No anal fisting or anything like that at all.
3. Most of the sex is vanilla and it becomes more about making love.
4. Christian is actually 28.
5. Christian is not some crazy guy, he just has a ton of issues and insecurities because of his past, and his outlet became sex.
6. There's like 2 BDSM scenes and they're not extreme at all because Ana doesn't like it. Ana is the decision-maker here and gives Christian permission on what he can and cannot do, but there's nothing extreme and she only likes spanking when it's fun, not for punishment. But that's as far as she goes when it comes to any punishment. She doesn't mind trying out things for fun though.
7. There is a lot of sex, but to me that isn't even the point of the story, or why I'd even read it.
8. The story is about a fragile, confused man who doesn't think he should be loved and is full of self-loathing being helped by a girl who stumbles into his life. He's not a weak person, he's a strong, charming, funny, and intelligent man, but he's allowed Ana to come to know his insecurities and who he is apart from his dominant, confident side. Their relationship is a roller coaster of ups and downs because it's hard for Christian to change and lose his controlling tendencies, even though he's really trying for Ana. But overall, he's extremely happy with Ana and acts more his age and becomes carefree.

"You're very easy to love. Don't you see that?"
"No, baby, I don't."
"You are. And I do and so does your family. So do Elena and Leila, they have a strange way of showing it, but they do. You are worthy." "Stop." He puts his finger over my lips and shakes his head, an agonized expression on his face. "I can't hear this. I'm nothing, Anastasia. I'm a husk of a man. I don't have a heart."
"Yes, you do. And I want it, all of it. You're a good man, Christian, a really good man. Don't ever doubt that. Look at what you've done... what you've achieved," I sob.
"I told you, Christian, I'm not going anywhere, no matter what you've done. You know how I feel about you." His mouth twists as if he doubts my words, and his brow creases as if what I'm saying is painful for him to hear. Oh, Christian, what do I have to do to make you realize how I feel?
“Christian will always think the worst of himself. As I said, it’s part of his self-abhorrence. It’s in his makeup, no matter what. Naturally he’s anxious about making this change in his life. He’s potentially exposing himself to a whole world of emotional pain, which, incidentally, he had a taste of when you left him. Naturally he’s apprehensive.” “I don’t mean to stress how important a role you have in his Damascene conversion—his road to Damascus. But you have. Christian would not be in this place if he had not met you."
"Look, we don’t have long,” she says hurriedly. “It must be obvious to you that Christian is in love with you. I have never seen him like this, ever.” She emphasizes the last word.
What? Loves me? No. Why is she telling me? To reassure me? I don’t understand. “He won’t tell you because he probably doesn’t realize it himself, notwithstanding what I’ve said to him, but that’s Christian. He’s not very attuned to any positive feelings and emotions he may have. He dwells far too much on the negative. But then you’ve probably worked that out for yourself. He doesn’t think he’s worthy.”
I know he’s damaged, but I don’t think he’s irredeemable. I sigh, recalling Taylor’s words. “He’s a good man, Miss Steele.”
I’ve seen the weighty evidence of his goodness—his charity work, his business ethics, his generosity—and yet he doesn’t see it in himself. He doesn’t feel deserving of any love. Given his history and his predilections, I have an inkling of his self-loathing—that’s why he’s never let anyone in. Can I get past this?

It's actually one of the better love stories I've read in a while.
 

PureElegance

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holylampposts wrote:
Holy fuck. Is it your favorite story, or what?
LOL, no. It's just that I thought it would've been something completely different from what I've been reading on the forum. I wasn't even interested until that conversation in the reading thread.

I'm just not understanding what people are talking about and oh yeah, it's because they never actually read the books, duh ::meev:: I thought it was going to be dumb, Dom/Sub, and BDSM and all that, but it surprisingly wasn't and I'm enjoying Christian and Ana's journey.

The first book does pale in comparison to the others (even in writing and typos), and it was kind of like a manga, but it got better towards the end and it's like Ana and Christian are totally different people, Jeebus. I got hooked to the first one for the drama and because of Christian's behavior, mostly. There's something about some of his behavior (definitely not all since he's extreme and too much) that's interesting and attractive for some reason. I don't know, I'm trying to figure it out myself because I've experienced it IRL too XD

EDIT: That's what I was talking about being realistic. It's everything Christian does and how he excites and makes Ana happy with just words and tones that I know are spot on. It's very detailed and on our way to Moulin Rouge we were amazed by it. Inside I could only be like, "Yeah, you have no idea... >_>" because I know exactly how Ana feels XD
And I actually do I know what I like about Christian because Ana used the word I've been looking for all this time XD It's kind of against my nature though, but I don't know.

Not sure what my favorite love story is, although my head is screaming, "A Dream of Red Mansions!" There are others though.
 

Cerceaux

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Iskanderia

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@PE: See, none of that sounds particularly unique or well thought out to me. So, this guy doesn't think he's deserving of love? So what? Lots of people are like that. Very often people grow up to have issues which affect their relationships in various ways and to varying degrees. In fact, most people have issues of some kind.

Maybe the fact that most other romance novels are so shallow and unrealistic - existing in a fantasy world where people have only the safest sorts of interpersonal conflicts - is what makes FSOG read to some people like a Platonic treatise on the meaning of love. It's (technically) deeper than your average romance novel. I can see too how someone might be able to relate to it because they too once loved a messed up little emo boy.

I think that this series is most popular amongst bored wives because they long for the deeply passionate, deeply dramatic relationship they once, long ago, had with their husbands (or, most likely, never had at all). The other group of people who might be enthralled by this work (and there's no way for me to say this without sounding like I'm condescending to you personally, PE) are those who have never had a serious adult relationship at all and are blown away by the expression of all these foreign adult emotions.

(of course, the main reason most people read this book is because it's porn for women, but I'm trying to discuss the secondary reasons for its popularity here).


Finally, it's not that big of a deal, but the blushing annoys me because it represents childishness and being in an arrested state of development. It's immature behavior for someone her age. It's like giggling like a schoolgirl during sex. I can't relate to a woman in her early 20's who blushes once every 60 seconds in the presence of an attractive man like a teenager. It brings to mind a specific kind of weirdo, and while I'm weird myself, this kind of weirdo is not one I can really relate to. If I want to read about the sexual awakenings of teenagers, I'll go read Judy Blume or something.
 

PureElegance

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Maybe the fact that most other romance novels are so shallow and unrealistic - existing in a fantasy world where people have only the safest sorts of interpersonal conflicts - is what makes FSOG read to some people like a Platonic treatise on the meaning of love. It's (technically) deeper than your average romance novel. I can see too how someone might be able to relate to it because they too once loved a messed up little emo boy.
I don't even classify this as a romance novel though, maybe an erotic novel. But then again, I don't really think of the sex parts when I think of this book, it's more about everything that leads up to the sex which I can relate to.

I don't want the movie adaptation to be all about the sex either, that would be really disappointing since it's missing the point of the story. Hopefully they'll show why and how sex is used and what part it plays in communication between Christian and Ana.

I also wouldn't call Christian an emo little boy because it's not like he sits there thinking about his problems or anything, or even gives a hint that he has any insecurities. He only gets depressed when forced to confront things by Ana, but he's usually the cool, mysterious, and sweet Christian around Ana and others. Ana also makes him happy most of the time, in a way he wasn't expecting, but he has to get over his past in order to have a normal relationship with Ana, so he has to confront everything in his life he's pushed away. Before Ana, Christian was never affected by anyone and never had to justify his lifestyle and decisions, and that's why he gets confused and overwhelmed with Ana. He just didn't really share any of his sadness with most people, so people had no idea and he wasn't forced to think about why he is the way he is.

I think that this series is most popular amongst bored wives because they long for the deeply passionate, deeply dramatic relationship they once, long ago, had with their husbands (or, most likely, never had at all). The other group of people who might be enthralled by this work (and there's no way for me to say this without sounding like I'm condescending to you personally, PE) are those who have never had a serious adult relationship at all and are blown away by the expression of all these foreign adult emotions.
Don't worry about it. I've already met a ton of guys sort of like Christian (dominant and with issues) and it's never really affected me because they weren't actually good people underneath it all. I'd never consider my life boring or anything, ever, and I've had guys be passionate about me before, but I don't really feel the same way most of the time and it takes a certain type of person to make me go all out.
I guess what I'm saying is that nothing here is new to me, at all (unlike Ana) XD What is amazing to me about this is how spot on James is about Christian's dominant/romantic/sweet behavior and about Ana's frustration/happiness dealing with someone like him, along with his emotional issues. I'm blown away by how she describes their relationship and how well I relate to it. It really DOES only take words and gestures when it comes from someone like Christian. He's such a rare find even though he's so extreme in the novel, or maybe I haven't met a ton of men with that certain something that I like, not sure. So no, I wouldn't say these emotions are foreign at all, if anything I know them too well (not all the time, but I can see all this happening vividly since I've experienced it) and that's what kills me when reading XD I know the powerful feeling Ana experiences too, when she realizes the effect she has on Christian, and only Christian. Christian has a certain type of passion that I've rarely experienced IRL, even when guys are passionate about me. It's strange, but I remember I could barely describe it to you on Facebook, and you said you couldn't relate to what I was talking about (at least when I'm talking about the behavior). It's just different, although I'm still a bit unsure of what it is.

I'm annoyed though that Ana only used THE WORD in the third book, I was totally wondering what it was before that ::meev::

It's actually sad that women don't have passionate relationships with their husbands, that's depressing. I didn't even think about it that way. :( I'm the type who wouldn't stand for that, I wonder why women would stay in those relationships? They seem unhappy, or at least unfulfilled. I know every day won't be exciting, but I donno, I can't imagine the rest of my life being dull and unfulfilling with my husband. Just the thought of that is saddening.

Finally, it's not that big of a deal, but the blushing annoys me because it represents childishness and being in an arrested state of development. It's immature behavior for someone her age. It's like giggling like a schoolgirl during sex. I can't relate to a woman in her early 20's who blushes once every 60 seconds in the presence of an attractive man like a teenager. It brings to mind a specific kind of weirdo, and while I'm weird myself, this kind of weirdo is not one I can really relate to. If I want to read about the sexual awakenings of teenagers, I'll go read Judy Blume or something.
For the record, she never giggles during sex ::meev:: Not that I remember, but he likes it when she giggles normally, like if he makes a joke or whatever. He makes a lot of jokes to get her riled up.
He can be such a pig sometimes, GODSFDPSFDPF asdofiasfidjksdkfj. Their email banter can be really cute though. Sometimes it's just plain intense, eek!

She doesn't blush as much later though, but I think it's because she's learned more about herself (I don't want to give anything away) and she makes her stand. She just turns into a different person, srsly.

JUDY BLUME. XD What did she write again? Oh my God, I don't think I've ever read anything of hers before even though she's ingrained in my childhood.

EDIT: Since we're talking about relationships, I remembered this weird couple at Versailles. The boyfriend was like, "Don't ever leave me (as in break up) again because you don't have the knowledge or know how to survive on your own."
That's so creepy :( I find out from her that she's actually coming to my university to study this year, and we're like "Omg, classmates!!" I gave her my card XD I donno, her boyfriend seemed weird and stuck up, as if he knew everything. He's weird. They were separated when getting onto the van, and later he was all angry and was like, "I'm making sure I get here first so we sit together :|" It wasn't even like, sweet or out of longing.
And when she picked up his jacket from the floor while sitting, he was like, "Why didn't you stand up?" and she had to give an explanation. She seems way too cute for him, and looking at her Facebook it looks like he's a professor at her community college. Eep.
 

holylampposts

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Does anybody here build computers (Maybe Lem)? I'm wondering, why are there so many USB ports on the motherboard that aren't exposed to the outside of the computer? Are there any internal devices that use USB? I thought it was all SATA for stuff on the inside.
 

flowersofnight

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holylampposts wrote:
Does anybody here build computers (Maybe Lem)? I'm wondering, why are there so many USB ports on the motherboard that aren't exposed to the outside of the computer? Are there any internal devices that use USB? I thought it was all SATA for stuff on the inside.
Those 20-in-1 card readers need an internal USB port.
I only found that out AFTER buying one for a computer that didn't have one ::hora::
 

Iskanderia

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@PE: I didn't say that she giggled during sex. I said that her blushing was as annoying and immature as someone giggling during sex.


And, dude, come on. You can't claim that your experiences with boys having crushes on you in highschool and you having unrequited crushes yourself allows you to identify with an intensely passionate, intensely sexual, adult relationship.

(In fact, new rule: high school relationships don't count. They seem really important and intense at the time but within 10 years you'll laugh at what a kid you were.)
 

eMiNaTiC

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high school ANYTHING doesn't count. nothing in high school is relevant to life.
 

flowersofnight

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eMiNaTiC wrote:
omg guys 5 hour energy is the greatest invention everrrrrrrrrr :grin: :grin: :grin: ::squee::
*checks the timestamp on this post*
Well it's been more than 5 hours, how do you feel? ::meev::
 

PureElegance

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I donno, is that stuff really that good? I don't even drink coffee XD

It's just scary how they give those things out at my university, it makes students so dependent on them, especially when combined with prescription drugs students take. As if they really need to hurt their health to get good grades.

I'll just always be surprised at how a couple of friends of mine were like "I'm definitely getting some adderall for the final." It's weird, do you really need that to do well? *shrugs* I stared at them in disbelief and they looked all guilty. It's not unheard of to me, but I was just sad that they felt they needed to resort to that (and a ton of energy drinks) just to study.
 

Madmoiselle_Silk

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I heard students in China could get IV while writing exams, to keep awake and alert =/
 

Cerceaux

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I can drink a cup of caffeinated coffee and immediately fall asleep. ::meev:: However, I'll likely wake up in 2-3 hours needing to use the bathroom.
Those energy drinks are bad though. When I was in high school, kids would just guzzle them 3 at a time and get all wired. Idk how they could afford that crap either, those things are like $3 a can.
Need more energy? Get more sleep, eat breakfast, and get some exercise.

Last night there was a huge storm with thunder and lightning, but it was super hot too, ugh. Usually it's dry heat here, but the rain made it really humid.
 

Berserk

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Cerceaux wrote:
Need more energy? Get more sleep, eat breakfast, and get some exercise.
Thank you.

I've always avoided drinking coffee too because I see how many people are dependent on it and I just never want to get that way. It's expensive and I should be able to have a reasonable level of energy without it if I take care of myself and get enough sleep.
 
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