Random Thoughts: The Next Mutation

MissUMana wrote:

What a beauty! Adorable.

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Thank you I think so too (proud mommy)

So I'm kind of wondering...Kaya wrote something on twitter. Apparently he found himself listed on a website of celebrities who had "come out"...as gay I guess. Though coming out could be bi too. anyway...

He said he'd never done that, and that he likes "beautiful people" regardless of sex.

Thing is, as far as I know, it's generally known and accepted that he is indeed gay. It has been for years. Why would he still feel the need to hide it with generic cliched "gay man half-heartedly avoiding saying he's gay" rhetoric? It's actually kind of insulting that he thinks we're that shallow/stupid

Also I patched things up with my friend so thank goodness.

faith wrote:

Why would he still feel the need to hide it with generic cliched "gay man half-heartedly avoiding saying he's gay" rhetoric?

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I think denial runs in the family XD Why, he has to stay in the closet, or else he'll never become the pop idol he's destined to be! You know how conservative those suits in the recording biz are!

The "acceptance" stage comes when he becomes an eroge narrator XD

haha dear lord. Really though, he could have just said nothing.

Sometimes nothing is a good response.

Gasp: rare 19th-century artworks have been on display all week and I almost missed it
http://www.sothebys.com/en/auctions/201 ... .html#&i=0

Not sure if it's actually open to the public or only oligarchs. :/

So on NYU Secrets many of the secrets recently have been about people seeing girls crying on the street, in a building, etc. Someone commented:

there are too many crying girls at this school

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Another started like this:

The NYU I experience is girls crying in stalls,

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As I'm sitting here there's a girl tearing up and staring at her cellphone.

Today I was tearing up during class because right before I arrived I had a mini-attack of "ugh my life" after my dad made a silly small comment. But his comment triggered all these thoughts in me and I suddenly remembered how my personal life went down the drain, how lonely I felt, and I immediately got depressed while putting on my jewelry. I didn't know why I bothered dressing up since I only had one class. I wasn't satisfied enough anymore to dress up for myself. I wanted to cry.

In my head I thought, "In Shanghai I was the girl everyone was jealous of. The girls admired and envied me. I always wore the best clothes to each event. I was successful in everything, I had everything." etc etc etc I missed feeling taken care of by Strickland, I missed feeling like the belle of the ball. I couldn't believe how it had changed and here I was again alone, with people feeling sorry for me. I'm feeling much better, I'm kind of surprised I had that rush after many pleasant days, I love my life, but it's amazing what a small comment can do to someone. I guess I'm still recovering. (from my stomach which is experiencing major soreness and UGHHHHH)

Anyway, I'm writing my paper on "Wandering in the Garden, Waking from a Dream," which I completely love to death, but I felt more bad for Madame Qian reading it this time around.

She keeps saying things like, "In those Nanjing days...," "When I was in Shanghai... That was a long time ago." She meets a Colonel who is "extraordinarily dashing" and reminds her of her dead husband. She remembers how when he was alive, she'd "naturally" be at the head of the table, no one could compare to her. She keeps repeating in her head things like, "Is there anyone who doesn't know Madame Qian of Plum Garden in Nanjing? Ah yes, His Excellency General Qian's lady. Qian Pengchih's lady. Qian Pengchih's aide-de-camp. General Qian's lady." She gets flashbacks of him helping her mount her horse, how thoughtful and caring he was, and him riding his white horse. Then she remembered when he died. She keeps thinking "... there was only that once... but I lived only once... I only lived once." She says the phrases, "It's over, I know, right at that moment... It's over... It's over..." in between memories.

Man, I was like, "Geez Louise she's having a serious attack here!" XD I'm not sure why, even though I felt bad for her, the first time I read it I wasn't AS thoroughly engaged with her flashbacks, but now I am. Now that I'm reading each line carefully I see so many similarities between Madame Qian and Du Liniang in Peony Pavilion, their identity crises, and it's so awesome. I really like the short story and each time I go through it I discover something new.

faith wrote:

Here's another pic of Michan under a blanket!
I don't care what people say, cats DO need to be warm and blankets ARE good for them.

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The cuteness is killing me!!

I completely agree, one of my cats is sleeping under my duvet right now...

Pictures or you don't have one! lol

I...actually...like this song....I need to leave France before it's too late
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pp-wmEKWLSo

Also, my friend said I was weird for keeping my my little ponies.
She then proceeded to tell me about her friend from prep school who collected used condoms...
I was like, "So what? She went out to the Woods of Bolougne and like, dug on the ground for them???"
But no they were hers. That's still really sick.

En resumé, I think I'm pretty damn normal thank you very much.

We were talking about film noir in class and so I asked if Suzhou River (2000) could be considered that even though the film noir period never really took off in China, and my professor smiled as if reminiscing and said she can definitely see that. It's part of the Sixth Generation of Chinese filmmakers, who were experiencing the changes of the economic reforms and had low budgets.

That movie has been following me around since my dad showed it to me when I was little, over ten years ago. It's set in Shanghai, has two sad love stories told by the videographer, and shows the negative impact of urbanization and capitalism (not in a preachy way). Here's the intro, which is amazing:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBvKAfv_k_s
It's also amazing how depressing and ugly Shanghai used to be, only 13 years ago! (BUT AT WHAT COST) Those shots of him going down the river, of the people working on the ships, are incredible. You can even see the Oriental Pearl Tower in the background. Now that it's changed so much, it's amazing that Lou Ye caught this time in history. He was banned from making films for two years after it was released, haha.

I know more about the context and I've been to Shanghai, but when I first saw it I loved the opening and closing lines, "If I leave you someday, would you look for me? Like Mardar?" / "Yes." / "Would you look for me forever?" / "Yes." / "You're lying." My dad would say that he hopes I find someone like Mardar. It's sad that the actor who played Mardar jumped off his balcony three years ago after a long battle with drugs, and that was his last major film. But when I was little I really liked Mardar.

SO I HAVE TO LET THIS OUT:

I feel so nerdy right now. After class my professor asked me if she can talk to me about my shikumen ruin photos from Shanghai. I resurrected them to show her because "Wandering in the Garden, Waking from a Dream" reminded me of them.

I said of course, and she said she thinks they're amazing and represent what we were talking about in class. Gentrification, loss, displacement, urbanization in China, people being forced to move out of their homes, etc. She doesn't think anyone understands what she means when she speaks about it in class, so she asked if she can show them my photos to get an idea. I said sure, and I felt nerdy. Taking the photos of the things left behind in the houses for me was primarily motivated by "loss," but I know what she means.

We went walking and she asked me where that shikumen site was because last time she went she couldn't find any ruins. I only remembered that I took Line 10, the purple line, but I'd look up the address my professor sent me. She said, "It's probably completely gone now." It probably is.

I told her that we had done ink compressions of buildings or items at the shikumen, so we could take a "piece" home before it's gone forever. I have a window and part of a door.

I told her about scrolls I had found, that I couldn't open because of how tightly wrapped up they were. I had even brought scissors. I wondered why anyone would leave them there. I told her that I found on the wall marks measuring a child's height until it stopped. There were still small colorful stained glass windows depicting flowers. There was a calendar on the wall stopped at 1989.

She told me that I have a really good eye to notice these things, and I said thanks. It made me smile because I remembered what my professor told me after he set up my exhibit. He told me that he loved my photos because they showed the little personal details left behind, people don't notice them and look at the bigger picture, and they give off the sadness and loss in these places. Being there and in Shanghai in general made me extremely aware of time and change, I learned to see subtle changes, things disappearing forever.

I'm watching Naruto to kill time in a slightly embarrassing way that is very befitting for a 10 year old but not an adult (unless it's outside of Japan for some reason). Thus far the only characters I like are Kakashi, Sasuke, Gara, and Lee. And the wind in his arms guy I guess. Mostly everyone else bugs the heck out of me. Especially those stupid little kids. GOD.

I must admit I'm having fun with Orochimaru's kotobazukai though. Half the time he sounds like a pedophile, and the other half the time he sounds like Kaya lol

I could only get through 2 episodes of that before throwing in the towel. I can't believe it's still running. Good news for the guy writing the comic I guess?

Goodwill sucked today. I've never seen so many polyester floral 80's muumuus in my life. Do they really think people are going to pay $7.99 for those things?

Cerceaux wrote:

Goodwill sucked today. I've never seen so many polyester floral 80's muumuus in my life. Do they really think people are going to pay $7.99 for those things?

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That reminds me, I haven't visited the Salvation Army a block away for such a long time even though my dad keeps buying me nice clothes for me. I really need to go again! I feel as if I'm running out of things to wear even though earlier this year I didn't have half of my wardrobe, but I still managed to make different coordinates each day. I used to wear bows in my hair and pretty headbands too. I want to get a haircut because I can't stand it so long, and I'm going to get something similar to what I had in Shanghai because I loved it. Ting Ting told me it was very chic and very "Adela" and she's right!

I was in the bathroom putting eyeliner on when Shannen walked in to find me. I said I was feeling very contemplative because of my conversation with my professor, and I told her the things on my mind. I mentioned Madame Qian and she said, "Oh my God, that's like your life! Your husband's dead too!" I told her that it's funny she should say that because when I was sad during September, my dad would say, "But your love is here!" In my head I'd quickly answer, "No he's not." She nodded.

I remembered her shaking her head saying, "He's changing, Adela, he's changing."

We talked about the back gate, and she didn't realize they were building a building on top of it. I told her how things were always changing, and she said, "One day I'd eat at a restaurant and the next day it would be bricked up. I would say, 'Hey, I just ate there yesterday!'" We talked about the restaurants we used to go to. Maybe we don't notice this type of change here because it doesn't happen as rapidly, from one day to the next. Shannen said I always have something meaningful to say about my stay in Shanghai and that's so great. She feels as if she went there, had a wonderful time, and came back and realized how much happier she was there.

I told her a little about Suzhou River and she replied, "I feel like your whole life was leading up to your trip to China!" Haha~

We went down the escalators and she said, "Wow Adela, you are like the poster girl for Shanghai." We walked by the park, talking more, and she told me, "I'm going to use your lines during my events. Like, 'Even if I were to go back, it would never be the same!'" What a nerd. XD

I met up with some Shanghai pengyous (ones I'm not close to) and other friends. We went to dinner and Strickland came up. My Shanghai friend and her boyfriend, who went to Shanghai too, were there. He said, "I don't know, I don't really like him."

Friends: Whaaaaaaaaaaaat omg stop it.
Girlfriend: You're just jealous! Omg!
Boyfriend: I think he's immature.
Friends and girlfriend: NOOOoooooo! You're crazy! Stop itttt!
Boyfriend: For example, don't you remember at the party, I said something, and he imitated me, like mocking me? I felt he was making fun of me.
Girlfriend: OH COME ON!!! You just THINK he was making fun of you, stop it! (to the table) He THINKS Strickland made fun of him so that's why he doesn't like him!
Others: Oh my god WHAT!

I sat there in silence, but I had to agree with the boyfriend. Strickland wasn't wonderful anymore. What made me feel weird was how vigorously my friend defended Strickland against her boyfriend, as if the boyfriend was insane, and in public too. I can't even imagine doing that to a boyfriend, especially in public. It wasn't a simple "I disagree with you" but it was as if Strickland was her boyfriend!

Anyway, I'm glad the conversation changed because I felt bad for the boyfriend.

faith wrote:

Pictures or you don't have one! lol

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I have four, actually x) though two of them mostly belong to my sister.. here's a whole facebook album to prove it

because I'm too lazy to choose one and upload it somewhere else

Cerceaux wrote:

I could only get through 2 episodes of that before throwing in the towel. I can't believe it's still running. Good news for the guy writing the comic I guess?

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Actually I almost did the same thing. The second episode was torture.
But Naruto used to be on Adult Swim, so I had seen two of the later episodes already and knew it would get better. After episode 7 it does...if you can stick with it.

@MorganIvy - OMG so cute!!!! Aleksandra is such a beautiful cat <3
It's funny, but if I weren't limiting myself to two cats, I would have 4 too - 2 black, one grey tiger, and a calico. Practically the same!

That must be a lot of work though.....and a LOT of kitty litter.



Speaking of cats, I was thinking. I payed 300 euro for Anyan.
A 3 legged cat who throws trash all over, poos on the floor, and destroys books and wires.
I payed 300 euro for that.

Aw, I sell a lot of things on Ebay (I sold one painting for $3000+! I used to sell only to auction houses, but I'm doing Ebay now.) and one man contacted me about a poster I'm selling. He said it was once up Chicago's cultural exhibit a long time ago (I already knew), and he works as the cultural historian for the city. He said he had to "embarrassingly" ask me to lower the price, but their budget is tiny.

I looked him up and he IS the "living landmark" and "encyclopedia" of Chicago, I read all these articles about him, and so I was really touched by how sincere he was about preserving Chicago's history. So I'm donating it! ^^


I saw this play called "The Winslow Boy" at the American Airlines Theater in Times Square and it was SO GOOD. It's sort of a legal drama too, set in Edwardian England, and I loved it! Out of all the plays I've seen that has to be the one that's really grabbed me.

My favorite person was Sir Robert Morton, the lawyer *swoon* When he walked in for the first time with his top hat, cloak, and gold vest I just died. He is so awesome too personality wise. His courtroom tactics... *swoon* Why don't men wear those things anymore? I swear, I belong in the wrong era. I got a picture with him and his autography after the show

My other favorite was Catherine because she's a feminist suffragist smart young lady who volunteers at women's rights places. Sir Robert has spoken against women having the right to vote and he finds it interesting that Catherine wears such feminine clothing and charming hats when she's such a feminist, it's like she's trying to have the best of both worlds. He gets better as it goes on and Sir Robert needs to marry me

Anyway, highly recommended. It made me think a lot about the law and media and things like that, but in a different way. It kept me on the edge of my seat and my mom and I were so involved!

@faith I know, right?! she is THE most photogenic cat EVER! I should put up a few more photos of her, haven't updated that album in ages...

Mine are all adopted from the street except for Snake - we got him from a litter that a patient of my mother had at home.

Alex actually followed me home one night. Seriously the biggest cliche ever, she just followed me for 4 blocks to my doorstep and I obviously couldn't leave her in the street. She was 6-7 months old and didn't grow any bigger. It was somewhat irresponsible of me to actually adopt her because Snake is FIV-positive, so she had to be quarantined in the living room, but there is no way I could have given her up after the first few hours!

As for how much work it is to care for them, my mother cleans both litter boxes every other day (which are in the veranda, so no mess in the house) and the food bowls are always somewhat full (no idea how none of them are obese!)
The only problems we have are Snake and Pepper's occasional vomiting (Snake throws up hairballs and Pepper is bulimic), cat hair all over the house and who to leave them with when we travel.

MorganIvy wrote:

Mine are all adopted from the street except for Snake - we got him from a litter that a patient of my mother had at home.

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Aww go you! Mine are the same more or less. My neighbor found Michan in a park and I took her in "temporarily"...Anyan was a maltraitance rescue I adopted from the association I volunteer at.

MorganIvy wrote:

As for how much work it is to care for them, my mother cleans both litter boxes every other day (which are in the veranda, so no mess in the house) and the food bowls are always somewhat full (no idea how none of them are obese!)
The only problems we have are Snake and Pepper's occasional vomiting (Snake throws up hairballs and Pepper is bulimic), cat hair all over the house and who to leave them with when we travel.

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You're lucky your mother does that lol
But yeah, the cat hair and kitty daycare. Ugh. When I go on vacation my friend and his girlfriend move into my place...it's the only way. I tried giving the kitties to another friend for a week and Michan jumped out the window. We found her after a day but still, never again!


And in AWESOME NEWS. I've been trying to find a boyfriend for my friend so she does not move back to the US in August. So far no dice.....buuuuuuttttt....today I met with a friend for coffee and English time, and it turns out he has a single friend. A VERY beaugos friend - like even I can tell the guy is good looking. He has a good job, speaks 3 languages, likes reading and art, and is super nice (said friend only associates with nice people anyway). Fingers crossed!!!!

*procrastinating on taking a shower* Gawd why do I have class TODAY.

faith wrote:

He has a good job, speaks 3 languages, likes reading and art, and is super nice (said friend only associates with nice people anyway). Fingers crossed!!!!

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I think matchmaking is really weird though XD It's like you're an old Chinese lady or something. Did she say that if she had a boyfriend she'd stay in France? Or is that you just thinking that? XD
... on another note, my standards are ridiculously high now, it's sad

I was totally missing Kevin last night and I'm not sure why.
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He's in Korea now and I miss him! He was always such a nice, easy-going guy and I felt so comfortable talking to him. He's extremely passionate about dancing, and when he talked about dancing you could just tell. Ting Ting would tell him, "People spend their whole lives to be able to talk like that about something!" I thought he was amazing on stage! He'd also teach us dance moves even though we were so bad, haha.

He was such a good guy. He was Strickland's partner in crime, he totally looked up to him, and I loved hanging out with them. I'm not sure how to describe it, but I felt like I was in ancient China, Strickland would go off to assess the situation and Kevin had to "stay with Adela." It was the same when we were with that old lady. He also took the best pictures of me in my blue dress!

Once we were at Mr. X, this franchise in China where you have to solve puzzles with your friends to escape rooms (don't know WHY these are not in the US), and I was freezing so he gave me his hoodie and it was super warm! D'aw. KEVIN COME BACK.

Then I remembered my friend HK is in Abu Dhabi. What the hell!

EDIT: I remember why I started missing him. Diana Vickers' song "Boy Who Murdered Love," I used to sing, "Love, love, love, love, love, love" and he asked me what I was listening to. It popped up on my phone last night.

Anyhoo, I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I get to go to Washington DC for $10! The MLK Scholars are offering spots to visit our great leader's memorial along with other sites, and I signed up right away. ::kisaki::

Washington DC only has one Dunkin Donuts and it does not sell pumpkin muffins. Don't go there.

faith wrote:

And in AWESOME NEWS. I've been trying to find a boyfriend for my friend so she does not move back to the US in August. So far no dice.....buuuuuuttttt....today I met with a friend for coffee and English time, and it turns out he has a single friend. A VERY beaugos friend - like even I can tell the guy is good looking. He has a good job, speaks 3 languages, likes reading and art, and is super nice (said friend only associates with nice people anyway). Fingers crossed!!!!

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As if he could possibly be French!

Not sure where was appropriate to post a YouTube video (partly since I've been absent for quite a while), but for the Moi dix Mois fans out there, I used some soundbits from D+SECT and Beyond the Gate in my recent Halloween performance of RuPau'ls "Devil Made Me Do It"
Have a look if you so choose!
http://youtu.be/LBhJ7i8vYRg