At the start of the Latino Leadership Summit they told us that we wouldn't be the same person at the end of it, and it was very true. I made many friends, but also realized how special I am. I know I'm really confident and believe myself Queen of the World, but really, I'm one of 1.3% of Latinas in law school and just that made me realize how abnormal I was.
The whole two days I saw how my life differed vastly from most in the room and of Latinos in general in the United States. Most don't finish high school or even go to college, much less go to a great college and even less to get a post-graduate degree. Then we were told to tell each other our stories and I loved hearing other people's experiences. One guy, John, grew up in the Bronx and had to avoid getting recruited by drug dealers, saw stabbings on his way home, and now he's graduating from NYU in engineering! One really nice girl told me that her classmates in college ask her if she's going to major in tacos.
I looked at my schools, my friends, my travels, my love interests, my family, and I realized how oddly, but in a good way, fortunate and rare I am and how many opportunities I have. I thought in the third person, "What a life you have, Adela!" I had that epiphany and it was kind of mentally overwhelming, and when I came home and told my mom, "It made me realize how--" and she said, "Different we are? I thought the same!" She went to a domestic violence training and she realized how lucky she was in the same way. She thought it was interesting because she and my father were both born in Peru and lived there and are so proud of it, but for some reason our family is different.
One important thing I also learned, which everyone helped me with, was that even though I'm not the average Latina, I'm still Latina and my story is valid. They told me I shouldn't be ashamed of my parents' success and my own. Sometimes I find myself feeling a little guilty for not going through "the struggle," and perhaps people judge me on that (such as that one intern at LatinoJustice who gave me a hard time), but I really shouldn't feel bad at all. If anything, I want to use everything I have to do even better things in the future. Others felt guilty too for not struggling as much, but we saw that we're valid!
Another thing I saw was how I never needed any Latino teachers in my life. Growing up I went to St. Patrick's and most of my teachers were Hispanic or Cuban or from Spain, so I never thought about it. I didn't care about that in high school or college either even though I hardly had any. I realized that I'm not very race-conscious (or of much in general) and I become friends with anyone with similar interests, if they're good people, things like that. My best professor friend is Chinese and my other favorites are white and Indian, and I never felt as though I lacked for anything when it came to that. We did so many activities at the summit!
We also had to do community service and it was so cute. I was in a charter school with mostly black and Latino children and seeing them happy and having fun together was beautiful, I can't describe it. It was like a vision of utopia that you wish you could keep that way forever. I took a break from organizing story books and checked my email, and I was happy reading Squire's two emails. He actually watched the Hunchback of Notre Dame videos I sent him, he wants to see the whole movie now, and something nerdy he wrote was:
Did you notice how, in the scene where the young blond knight is escaping by horse, the burning windmill in the background looks like a great cross in the sky?
I checked the video again, and I couldn't believe how I had seen that movie about a thousand times yet I never noticed that.
At the end of the summit we were told to write ourselves a letter that will be mailed to us a year from now. I wrote to myself to never forget what a wonderful life I have, even in the bad times, and how fortunate I am and to make the most of all of those opportunities. I wrote many other things, especially how I didn't want to forget everyone I met there and their stories.
On my way home I bought "China Boys" and then visited Squire's church and conjured up my photography skills to do a photo shoot of it. The summit was mentally exhausting though and I felt like I was deep in thought for days and couldn't concentrate on some readings.
Thursday I went to yoga and felt great, and we did this pose where I had to hold myself up upside down by the shoulders. When I saw myself do it I said, "Woah." I visited Squire and we talked for so long. I gave him my mandarins, even though we debated whether or not they were actually clementines. I was eating some chocolate without saying anything and he said, "Oh no, I don't want any, but thanks for offering." Oh my goodness. He made me laugh so much as usual.
We talked about the Latino Leadership Summit and I educated him on poverty in South America and he looked deep in thought. I told him about the Latino teachers thing and he said, "Well, I'm glad you'll still talk to us gringos." Haha! He said the Latino summit must have liked that an Indian like me came to join in and I hated him! He told me his mother was actually born in Venezuela, but to English parents who were in the oil industry who didn't stay long after she was born so she wasn't very Latina at all. However, his younger sister, when applying to college milked that Venezuelan connection for all its worth. I had to laugh.
I told him I was the only one in Contracts who knew who Richard Posner was and Squire told me Posner actually discussed one of his articles in one of his books and when he found out he was walking on air for three days. I said that's so cute. He thought I only found out about Posner recently, and I said he totally underestimated me since I've been reading Posner opinions since freshman year at NYU. One of the great Posner opinions, I told him, was Baskerville v. Culligan, where the boss called a woman a "tilly," which Posner researched and found out it meant "truck." I sent Squire the case and he just loved it, especially these parts:
"The use of the word "tilly" (an Irish word for something added for good measure, and a World War II British slang term for a truck) to refer to a woman is apparently an innovation of Hall's, and its point remains entirely obscure. Some of his repartee, such as, "Not until you stepped your foot in here," or, "Were we dancing, like in a nightclub?," has the sexual charge of an Abbott and Costello movie."
"Mr. Hall, whatever his qualities as a sales manager, is not a man of refinement; but neither is he a sexual harasser."
"The reference to masturbation completes the impression of a man whose sense of humor took final shape in adolescence. It is no doubt distasteful to a sensitive woman to have such a silly man as one's boss, but only a woman of Victorian delicacy-a woman mysteriously aloof from contemporary American popular culture in all its sex-saturated vulgarity-would find Hall's patter substantially more distressing than the heat and cigarette smoke of which the plaintiff does not complain."
I mentioned though that even though I agree with the ruling I did have mixed feelings when it came to the woman because maybe she really did think she was getting sexually harassed, and we talked about what standards should we use to decide. We also talked about the British Empire and all of its wrong doings and he said I give him such a hard time, but he admits the Opium Wars were bad. He gave me such a sad face, haha. I said I'll get him the book "101 Ways Britain Ruined the World" for his birthday and he sighed. He asked a lot of questions about my life. He also once worked here besides all of his judge clerkship work and teaching at other schools and doing finance.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wachtell,_ ... n_%26_Katz
I think that's really awesome! I tease him endlessly about not being modest, but he actually is very humble and respectful. I just think it's interesting for someone who has all the reasons to be a braggart to not be that way. He said some people might think he's pretentious and I said a few times people can get the wrong idea of me too, but even though I joke around I do try to be a good person and nice to everyone. He thinks I'm confident, but not in a bad way, and I said I think he is too.
He was playing some music on his computer and I immediately recognized Philip Glass' soundtrack for "The Hours," the novel based on Virginia Woolf's life and "Mrs. Dalloway." I swear, it must have been five seconds into the song and I told him to stop talking because I loved that song. He was impressed at how quickly I recognized it, as well as other classical pieces. But my favorite Glass song is "Morning Passages."
He also said he felt alienated a bit for being a Christian at our school. I said I thought our school was Catholic and he said it is, but most of the professors are atheist. I like talking about church music with him because we both love it.
At the end of the conversation he said he was in Ireland with a friend last year and he said the pubs were great, but he'll always like English ones more. I said I've been to a ton of Irish ones at this point, and he said they were fun and they sang songs. He said I'd like the ones in Dublin and there's always a man in a corner with a guitar playing a song. So I said:
"I love 'Star of the County Down.'"
"Oh, that's a good one!"
"Wait, you know that one?"
"Yeah!
"
"OMG I LOVE THAT SONG!!!!! I can't believe you know it!
"
I had a major moment of nerdiness and imploded. He thought I was carrying too much in my hands so he said I could come in Friday and pick up the Posner book (it has an essay about feminism) from him.
I met up with Caroline later on and as I was coming over to her she said, "You look so pretty! Your outfit is so well put together too." I said thanks! We talked about our days and then she told asked how my weekly Squire meeting was and I said it was great. For some reason we talked about how why I don't see him like I do Caroline and I said, "I think it's because... I think we flirt."
"So you admit it!"
"I mean, I don't know, it's just not the same like talking to you."
"I was wondering this whole time what exactly was going on between you two."
"Oh my God! Haha!"
"Oh Adela, what a life you lead!"
She also thought it was interesting how I knew to talk to him. She also thought it was uncommon how much we had in common. I said it's nothing, really.
Friday I flew over and he was late too. I went inside his office and he asked me to have a gift bag he got from a Louis Vuitton party he went to. It was an alumni event and one of the alumni gave them these skin care product gift bags for women so he thought I could take it off his hands.
He told me he had an Apple appointment in an hour because his phone had frozen up, was doing weird things on its own, and its flashlight would not turn off. He showed me and said it also wouldn't respond to touch anymore. I said, "Give it to me." He handed it and I worked my magic, turned it off, and told him to turn it back on. It was as good as new. It's just that my iPhone 4 would do that in its old age and his was an iPhone 5S like mine and doing the same thing. He thanked me very much and cancelled his appointment.
He asked if he could take me out to coffee in return and I said sure. We put on our black coats and off to Starbucks we went, and it was a beautiful day.
He really did the whole opening my doors thing. In Starbucks we joked around while waiting in line, and we teased each other as usual and we are both dog lovers. I said, "You never see that many videos of cats greeting returning soldiers home," and he laughed. We talked about how beautiful dogs and babies act towards each other. He always gets the Americano coffee because it sounds the most American, oh Lord. He said not many people know Barry Lyndon or European folk and tavern songs, the bodhi tree, and many of the things I know about, and he thinks it shows my cultural sophistication.
Anyway, we made up the name "Jane" to the cashier, to give her something easy. He said my plan to wait until we were at the register to see if there were any seats backfired since now all the seats were taken. He suggested we sit outside in the nearby park, or at the tiny park in between two lanes of cars. I put sugar in my hot chocolate and chose the tiny park between two lanes because it was more exciting.
It was a bit surreal to be sitting there with him, I wasn't expecting it to happen, but it was great. We talked about the WWII appeasement, beggars in China abusing camels, a boy whose arm was bitten off by a bear in a zoo, how he fed elephants when he was little, Hiroshima, Israel and Palestine, Marxism, the Klinghoffer opera, and how often I tell him to "go away" and "Leave me alone!" He thinks I do it once every three minutes. At one point I said, "I like Shanghaiist, that's how I get my China news." He said that's good and I said, "It's how I keep in touch with the fatherland," and he gave me a great glare. We also talked about whether genders are complimentary, the meaning of "cishet," and gender roles. I don't remember it all, but I remembered talking seriously at times about my opinions and also laughing because he teased me. I love how we don't agree on everything. I noticed how beautiful the day was and took pictures, and then one of his hands!
At one point a black guy with a book bag walked past us and asked him for money and Squire said sorry. He gives to charity, but he can't help but feel wary of the ones on the street. The guy took a few steps, but he lingered and said Squire looked very smart, like a doctor. He told me I looked stylish and smart too, and that my hair was very pretty. I said thank you! I told Squire the doctor comment was also directed at me and he received none and he said, "Yeah, I'm just the bum who happened to sit next to you *dramatic sigh*" He kept teasing me though so I really had to nudge him to stop. We also saw my favorite chubby birds who were totally bold with us and getting close, but we didn't have any food to feed them with!
We stayed talking there for over an hour until he said he had to get ready for a meeting at Columbia, I also had to go to my group project, and so we walked a few blocks talking. We said bye and he said thanks again for the phone help and I said thanks for the hot chocolate, and I flew off. I realized I had a really great time with him even though we only sat talking.
It was slightly awkward to work with my Property group and with another in the same room when both our groups talked about how they used adderall, how they were using it now, and how little studying they did in college. They talked about how the library study rooms were for drinking. I just can't relate.
Later on I saw Corinne and I'm really grateful I did! She's such a good friend
I told her I'm feeling much better about law school ever since I started just doing my own thing and working on my life. I just feel nerdily motivated and I like doing my work and my activities. I needed a break though and I didn't even want to think about law for a few hours and I'd like to be with my real friends. We had dinner at Dave and Busters and played arcade games, especially the Deadstorm Pirates one, the one we played in Shanghai. I said we're probably going to be playing this game every year from now on!
It was just great to see her again because she's a wonderful friend and I told her that. We played air hockey, Mario Kart, shooting games, spoke Chinese, and I did DDR for the first time. It was a workout! But I got some gnarly new songs from it. She told me about her trip to Japan and her work life, which is really involved in the BP Oil Spill. I don't know, it was just a great time with a pengyou!
Also, I was getting off a seat from a game and a little girl who came to get on said to me, "You're so pretty!" AW. Seriously, what a compliment! ::kisaki::
After Family Day today at the law school, my mom and I went to PJ Clarke's and had a great conversation. I said I'm feeling much better doing my own nerdy things, and I was honest with her about my feelings about where I'm at. It was really great and we both know how much I love NYU. My mom was really encouraging and she said that regardless of what happens she know I'll do great things anyway. She's a nerd.
The NYU Alumni weekend is coming up, hoo boy. okay, now back to work ;_;