Random Thoughts: The Next Mutation

[Wandering_Fox]

You know. Maybe Mana will be forced into this as his next step.....

Just imagine that over spooky organs, harpsichords and choirs o_O The town ice cream social will never be the same again

 

[Blue Moon]

Been trying all day trying to fix the blue highlight on my desktop icons and internet browser / documents. I don't know how it happened, everything went blue highlighted where it supposed to be white. If anybody knows how to fix this problem...please tell me...my eyes are hurting. I use Win7 and FF.

 

[PureElegance]

There's a show on TLC (which has some weird shows) called 19 Kids and Counting and I saw an episode and a half out of curiosity. It's about a family of Independent Baptists who have 19 kids.

The episode I saw was interesting because it was about courtship, as in parents chaperoning the couple everywhere and very little to no physical contact between the couple is permitted. The most is maybe hand-holding and the great "side-hug." It's interesting that in courtship first comes the commitment (marriage) and then you get to know each other and become/be what each other needs. Oh and everything is guided by Scripture!

What I can't deal with the most is that the couple can never be alone, haha. I can't imagine having my parents with me all the time while I'm with a guy. Not only for the obvious reasons, but also I can't imagine getting to know someone as well if you're always in a group setting, but that's just me. Besides, my parents trust me and they know I'm not going to do something dumb.

Anyway, Sahel told me, "I don't even think my dad knows I've kissed a guy." That's so cute! My dad knows though, haha.

Unrelated to kissing, but he always told me that when I was in elementary school he was picking me up from one of my parties by the bay and he saw me dancing there with everyone and thought I was a wild girl. I'm still the same way!

While the daughter in a courtship is in Nepal visiting her online/Skype/phone suitor with her father, the guy puts his hand on her back and the father smoothly comes up from behind and moves in between them, effectively ending the contact. I thought that was just perfectly executed. That episode was only interesting because they were in Nepal, but I wonder if the beginning of their courtship would have been as good if they weren't all exploring the city together. They're from a little town in Arkansas so I wonder what the courtship would have been like starting back there.

The other daughter in a courtship sees her guy once every two weeks because he's busy or something. Her story is not as exciting.

The newest episode is about the family expecting the 20th child, oh my GOD. I can't even imagine being pregnant twenty times!

My Spectral Thinking classmates and I were talking about how many kids we want to have and what kind of parents we want to be. Audrey said her mother -lives- for her kids and Callum said his mom's a teacher so it worked out. Someone mentioned wanting a husband that's supportive and I said my dad was kind of like a stay-at-home dad when I was growing up. It gives me a whole slew of expectations for men already because my dad can do it all.

That's why I go, "Wait, why am *I* expected to cook and clean and stay home because I'm a woman?" That's why I don't understand when people say things like, "Oh well he's a guy, don't expect him to ___ or ___" or "Women are the better caregivers." One of the main reasons why I rail against the whole "women are naturally more nurturing" idea (with the mother and child being the most important bond) along with care-taking being seen as emasculating or "the women's job" is because of my dad's existence. If we keep thinking of parenting in that way nothing will ever change, but that's my opinion.

My dad always remembered how when I was staying with my grandmother once during elementary school I asked her if we could go to McDonald's. She said no because she doesn't like McDonald's. I was so sad, saying, "But me and daddy always go to McDonald's on Thursdays ." When he came back I was still so sad about it and told him the same sentence.

After running some law school errands I went shopping at the NYU Bookstore to spend the money on my gift card and it was fun. I found books which I'll buy later and I found one journal that motivates me to write, but I'll buy it on Amazon.

While I was in the "Asia Studies" section listening to music I saw many books on how China will take over the world and whatnot. Then over my music I heard something familiar and I lowered the volume and it was "Kiss Me" and I thought, "Sigh!"

I was going through every book section to see what was out there I noticed these ancient Greek authors. I've always liked them, but they entered my mind more often these past few months because of Dan. His favorite was Xenophon's "Anabasis" and he told me all about the march and the cry, "The sea! The sea!"

He also said he came from a long line of beard-wearing men, and he had a beard last year. I couldn't believe it when he showed me a picture (it wasn't a big bushy ugly one, phew). I also said the ancient Chinese men had better beards though, and he completely disagreed. It was always a "battle" between the ancient Greeks, or the West in general, and the ancient Chinese. We had the same opinion on Japan. I have been noticing the ancient Greeks more, but I never did read "Anabasis." He gave me a play-by-play of his favorite scene and wrote down for me, "Θάλαττα! θάλαττα!"

I remembered him saying in bed that he'll have a car ready for me in the morning so I can get to class on time. Since senioritis at that point was really coming at full force I thought, "I haven't read that story for History of the Andes, oh no!" I did well throughout the semester, got As and I loved how my photography project came out, but I really procrastinated at times and I do think it was the senioritis!

I'm not sure why, but when I talked to Ting Ting I remembered how happy I was at the Jekyll and Hyde Restaurant with him. I hadn't thought about it in a while. Maybe that day stuck out to me because I was nervous about him maybe disliking it. He had no idea where I was taking him and I told him to meet me at the corner on 44th and 7th. We hugged and kissed and I asked him if he had any idea, and he really didn't.

He had the special of the day and I had the burger like last time, and I was happy. For some reason there were many more little kids than there was last time, and it was really cute how he clapped along with them and spoke back to the gargoyle above us. There was an initiation ceremony for a little girl (this was my first time seeing it) in front of us, and it was cute how he went along with it. He even said the oath. All I could do was smile! We were also by the giant elephant head, which I noticed, for the first time, was moving. When it was time for the show, the waiter told us we should go to the corner of the balcony and get a great view from there, so we went to stand at the corner. Frankenstein was being awoken from his slumber! He was running his hand up and down my back when I turned and we stood there kissing and then went back to seeing the show. We then talked for a few hours until it was time to go to the Chamber of Horrors. While waiting on line he pinched me on the butt, I quickly turned around and he said, "What was that?" I just remember holding on to him and going, "Ahh!" throughout the entire Chamber of Horrors. He said his favorite part was the bridge that had the rotating walls. Right after that is when we had our picture taken. I loved hearing the 1920s songs again!

Being with him at the Disney store was cute too. The little girls on the second floor in the castle were helping me out with quizzing him on the names of the Disney princesses. Then we kissed under the Tangled lanterns.

I guess that night in particular stands out to me for some reason.

While having lunch with her I said, "I don't know why, but I just remembered us leaving the shikumen and going to East Nanjing Road." She said she remembered us saying, "Take me back to civilization!" after spending hours at the shikumen, and then going to McDonald's on East Nanjing Road to recover. That was such a good time, haha.

I ended up buying an NYU traditional felt flag for my room, a pair of NYU exercise shorts, a key chain, a postcard of an alpaca in a taxi, and a frame! I got the same postcard for Laura too. We're planning on finally going row-boating this summer, finally!

Some woman is yelling and cursing outside my window in Spanish...

 

[Wandering_Fox]

If you have a moment, this is a very well written articleby Mara Wilson, (the girl who played the protagonist of Matilda and the youngest daughter from Mrs. Doubtfire) about the difficulties of child acting and why so many child actors seem to go off the deep end. I think some of it is pretty apparent, but a lot of it I didn't realize was such an issue, though upon further reading, it makes perfect sense. It's a little on the long side, but it's worth the read

 

[Cerceaux]

^That was interesting.

And I always felt bad for Lindsay Lohan. I like the Parent Trap remake and unlike a lot of child stars who are just cute, I think she really had talent. She grew up to be very pretty too (before the drugs anyway).

PE: 19 Kids and Counting is so weird. But they seem like nice people and they can afford to support all their kids so I don't really have anything against them. And also unlike most TLC reality shows, that one doesn't feel so exploitative. You never see them fighting and stuff. They must have worked out some kind of deal with the producers to not portray them as a freak show and try to stir up drama.
I think it's time for the mom to stop having babies though because she's getting too old and the most recent baby had a lot of problems. She says she's waiting for God to stop her or whatever, but back before birth control women would usually have babies until they died and I don't think that's what she has in mind.

 

[flowersofnight]

Been trying all day trying to fix the blue highlight on my desktop icons and internet browser / documents. I don't know how it happened, everything went blue highlighted where it supposed to be white. If anybody knows how to fix this problem...please tell me...my eyes are hurting. I use Win7 and FF.

The text or the background? I think the "Desktop Color" property in the display settings controls the background of the text, at least in classic mode.

 

[faith]

I used to spend inordinant amounts of time customizing my desktop at work when things were slow. Twas indeed what Hanachan said.

I successfully horrified the door people at a posh club tonight.
The club was walking distance from Les Champs Élysées, so before going there I picked up some groceries from Mark & Spencers.
I usually don't end up in that area and thus decided I better profit from it while there.

When I got to the door the bouncer let me in without a second thought.
But when I walked up to the greeting podium they took a look at my bright green plastic bag and I could see the disgust and horror on their faces.
Too bad. I had a VIP invitation.
I left early though because the music was too loud for a place where no one was dancing.
And here I am with my Mark & Spencers blueberries, and I am happy.

 

[Blue Moon]

Been trying all day trying to fix the blue highlight on my desktop icons and internet browser / documents. I don't know how it happened, everything went blue highlighted where it supposed to be white. If anybody knows how to fix this problem...please tell me...my eyes are hurting. I use Win7 and FF.

The text or the background? I think the "Desktop Color" property in the display settings controls the background of the text, at least in classic mode.

Text are fine, accept background / page become bright cyan blue (making it very difficult reading any pages)

I was reading a PDF file (book), put my laptop down to grab a drink, came back the page turned bright cyan blue. Wasn’t adding / removing any programs or messing with any settings. Maybe I accidently hit a key on my keyboard and change the setting?

Examples of files affected:
PDF files
Paint
Spider Solitaire
Watching Any video
Web pages (ranging from almost full page to sections / boxes with cyan blue background.)
Search box on browers
Windows
Icons on desk top (file folder has a small blue bar at where you put the sticker label on real folders)
Date / Time display on my laptop
Volume adjustment
Emails [Hotmail: white columns on both sides, middle is blue. Yahoo mail: display a darker blue elongated oval shape inside a cyan blue box, only 12 email lines fits inside the blue area, but if scrolls down the list, it become blue (malware / virus?)]
All pictures
Desktop colour and theme unchanged except for the cyan shadow
*Basically white become cyan blue, affecting everything.

It’s not random so I don’t think it’s hardware issue. It’s a display setting or virus issue?

Example: Faith's avatar is a black and white drawing. What I see on my screen is that with blue smeared over.

Affected both IE and FF browsers so don't think it's FF's issue (was thinking about reinstalling FF)

*I have Norton antivirus, full scanned show no virus / malware
(Maybe Norton failed to dectect a new virus?) :/

Googled and try a few fixing tips...nothing worked so far...has not come across any similar problem

Can't find "desktop color" property in Window 7. I can change the desktop theme and desktop background color, not the text's background color.


Next step is to re-install OS

 

[PureElegance]

I left early though because the music was too loud for a place where no one was dancing.

I hate it when this happens! Dancing, besides being with friends, is the main reason I go out and I hate it when no one else is really dancing. I would say it's the main reason I go out, but I wouldn't go out by myself.

Alyssa Funke's suicide bummed me out, along with the shooting in California. I can't believe people and a lot of the media are trying to say the shooting isn't related to gender problems in our society and misogyny.

"It's not fair. You girls have never been attracted to me. I don't know why you girls have never been attracted to me, but I will punish you all for it. It's an injustice, a crime, because I don't know what you don't see in me. I'm the perfect guy, and yet you throw yourselves at all these obnoxious men, instead of me, the supreme gentleman."

"I will punish all of you for it," he said before erupting in an almost satanic laugh.

"On the day of retribution, I will enter the hottest sorority house of UCSB, and I will slaughter every single spoiled stuck up blonde slut I see inside there. All those girls that I've desired so much, they would have all rejected me and looked down upon me as an inferior man if I ever made a sexual advance towards them. While they throw themselves at these obnoxious brutes. I'll take great pleasure in slaughtering all of you. You will finally see that I am in truth the superior one. The true Alpha Male."

I mean, seriously? This stuff doesn't even surprise me. It's kind of sad that it doesn't, but I just see it as part of a pattern that has been going on for centuries.
Also, "the nice guy" who isn't actually nice and feels entitled to women is awful. Funke's suicide bummed me out even more because all she did was make a porn movie, people relentlessly slut-shamed her for it, and she shot herself with a shotgun.

Anyway, I learned a ton more about St. Augustine What thing that made me laugh was when the professor said that St. Augustine never said, "The devil made me do it!" St. Augustine blamed himself for his faults and his lack of willpower to change his habits. He compared it to getting up in the morning, as in one part of himself said, "Get up!" but the other said, "Just five more minutes..." St. Augustine had that mentality for years! What he truly wanted was to devote himself completely to philosophy and theology, but at the same time he didn't want to give up sex and other worldly desires. So he was always struggling, aw!

It is so hard to give up certain habits though! I feel like a lot of us go through that. I know there are certain things I can change with my daily habits (nothing terrible, haha), but I have that mentality of "Not yet..."

I also forgot he had a son named Adeodatus! He contributed to his father's later works too, but died at sixteen.

Seeing the wonderful intelligence of his son, Augustine felt a sort of awe. "The grandeur of his mind filled me with a kind of terror", he says himself (De beata vita, c. vi).

I saw this three-minute video on Li Bai:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=czXCAx6ECEY

Li Bai always had a special place in my heart because when I would go to Epcot and visit "China" years ago, he would be your guide during the 360 Degrees "Reflections of China" movie.

At the end of the video he would say, "We have now come full circle. Sadly that means this is where we must part, but I hope you will return to China, someday. A wave of the hand now and I am gone. Lowering my head, I dream that I am home. Until we meet again, zai jian." Then he disappears. It made me tear up every time because I wanted to go to China so badly (still do!) Even thinking about him saying that brings tears to my eyes. Every time!

I love Li Bai's poetry in general though. He had an interesting life too! The moon reminded him of people and places he cared about, and it became a big part of his poetry along with poetry from the Tang Dynasty (the Golden Age). At the end of the three minute intro video the speaker says this:

In another poem, Li wrote:

"The people of today cannot see the moon of ancient times,
But today's moon once shone up on the ancients."

Although Li Bai has now been gone for well over a millennium, his poetic descriptions of dreamlike landscapes illuminated by the moon have left a legacy in the hearts of the Chinese people.

And Li may not be as far away as you think, after all, the same moon that shines upon you today, once shone down upon the immortal poet.

That made me want to cry! It's so beautiful~ I just love the idea of what the moon represents, and that's a reason I loved Barn Joo too--the moon was right above me! I think it is amazing how we're all looking at the same moon. Be right back, I'm going to grab some tissues...

 

[Wandering_Fox]

Today's observation: Heavy metal fans are a lot like birdwatchers. Birdwatchers pride themselves on having seen rarer birds than their bird watching peers. Heavy metal fans pride themselves on being fans of more obscure bands than their metal-loving peers.

Behold, a sample conversation (between heavy metal fans, not birdwatchers, unless these are birds I've never heard of)

Fan 1 - Man I love Dark Moor!
Fan 2 - It's rare to meet another Dark Moor fan! But how about Blood Bound? Do you know them?
Fan 3 - Everyone and their mother knows them! How about Wuthering Heights? That's some amazing power metal right there!
Fan 1 - Dude, they're so not power metal, they're progressive folk metal with thrash influences! Now Savage Circus, that's where it's at!
Fan 2 - Except they want to be Blind Guardian!
Fan 3 - GIRUGAMESH!!!!

Visual Kei used to be like that back in the day when VK fans compared their Japanese playlists and started getting mad when Dir en Grey became available at Hot Topic... I bet you couldn't even GIVE AWAY a Puppet Mammy CD these days...

(Sometimes I like to make up names for heavy metal groups and try to stump people. For all we know, the band could actually exist and I'm just hip to the jive, so to speak, or maybe I'm just a socially awkward person who uses sentences like "hip to the jive".)

 

[faith]

Haha yeah I remember those days. Back then we didn't have nearly as much internet so knowing about vis-kei bands and culture meant a heck of a lot more than it does now.

I just read that spinach becomes much healthier if you cook it.
Gosh darn it I dislike cooked spinach.
Also, while it contains a bunch of iron, it also inhibits iron absorption.
This is kina too ba because I'm trying to eat more iron to see if that's what's causing my fatigue.

 

[DarkestRafflesia]

I want to live in a universe where Team Rocket actually knows what they're doing. Jesse and James had so much potential...

 

[PureElegance]

Haha yeah I remember those days. Back then we didn't have nearly as much internet so knowing about vis-kei bands and culture meant a heck of a lot more than it does now.

I knew about Moi dix Mois in high school, before you! I see you over there, so hypnotic, thinking 'bout what I do to that body. I get you like ooh baby baby, ooh baby baby, ah-ooh baby baby ooh baby baby. Got no drink in my hand, but I'm wasted. Getting drunk off the thought of you naked, I get you like ooh baby baby, ooh baby baby, ah-ooh baby baby ooh baby baby.

Kill the lights, shut 'em off, you're electric. Devil eyes telling me come and get it. I have you like ooh baby baby ooh baby baby, ah-ooh baby baby ooh baby baby. Girl tonight you're the prey, I'm the hunter. Take you here, take you there, take you under. Imagine me whispering in your ear. Then I wanna, take off all your clothes and put something on ya. And I ain't trying to fight it, to fight it, but you're so magnetic, magnetic. Got one life, just live it, just live it, now relax, sing it on your back.

If you wanna scream, yeah, let me know and I'll take you there. Get you going like ah-ooh, baby baby ooh baby baby, ah-ooh baby baby ooh baby. If you want it done right, hope you're ready to go all night. Get you going like ah-ooh, baby baby ooh baby baby, ah-ooh baby baby ooh baby. If you wanna scream!

I remember seeing this song performed in concert a couple of years ago, and I can't believe it's been that long! I was hoping the lyrics went "Now relax, and get on your back" because I love that, but instead it's "sing it on your back" and I guess that's still cool.

I'm feeling restless for a party already. It does bug me when no one dances at a party, haha. I remember sitting with Sahel and wanting to dance, but she was sitting so I felt I had to join her since I only knew her. But I'm not meant to be sitting down when I should be dancing. I'm feeling restless to go out again! I'm also not used to having this type of free time on my hands. I'm either in classes or doing an internship, and now I feel as if I want to do some volunteer work, haha. I guess I'm not used to this!

Sahel last week introduced me to a guy named Josh and I said, "Oh wait, you're Josh, you threw that party at The Globe!" He said, "Yeah! I don't think we met then." It's just funny how I meet him months later! At the time he was talking to Sahel, and I was never introduced to him. Then I sat with Sahel and for three hours after that I was with Dan, I left, so I never really met Josh until now. So he's the Josh from "Sahel's friend Josh's party," haha. I wonder what would have happened if we decided to go to Shweta's after-party instead.

Odera called me at 11:00pm to catch up on how I'm doing. She asked what I've been to, and I said just doing my things. I'm a lot happier, but I guess there's that tiny weird feeling still, haha. She said she doesn't know what to say.

I think that feeling is kind of like the ending of Romance of the Three Kingdoms and Peach Blossom Fan. Peach Blossom Fan especially since it was, at its core, a romance between a prostitute and a scholar. The book also follows the fall of the Ming dynasty and being taken over by the Manchus. It also depicts the military intrigue and battles, so I loved that too. Shi Kefa was one of the most loyal generals ever and I got to see his memorial in Yangzhou, where he took his last stand, while I was with the pengyous during that glorious time last year.

Like other Southern-style plays the play incorporates martial scenes and a love affair central to the plot. Birch wrote that the Hou Fangyu-Fragrant Princess love affair "is brilliantly integrated with the more weighty matter of the plot" and that the martial scenes "perfectly reflect the unhappy progress of the Ming cause and depict in vivid terms the gallant but ultimately futile loyalty or generals like Huang Te-kung and Shi-Kefa."

Anyway, the ending has the two reuniting after all of their troubles and passionate love standing all of tests. The priest at the temple they're taking refuge in doesn't know how during that time they can even be thinking of love. When they finally reunite they decide to part ways, saying that during that chaotic time where everything is changing they can't get married. They walk away from each other in different directions and the story ends there. It's the most unsatisfying feeling to read that after following those two the entire book.

The feeling you get at the end isn't anger or disappointment, but that kind of, "Well, maybe he's right, but still... Come on." They reunite at the last two pages of the book, and you think, "This is it!" Then you see it suddenly end and you can't believe it's happening as you're reading, even if the reasons are somewhat understandable. It's that little mental struggle between knowing and remembering everything that came before and accepting that the book has no more pages to read.

During the play our heroine tries to commit suicide by hitting her head against the wall when one evil jealous man wants her to marry someone else. The blood from her head spatters on the fan our hero gave her. His friend found it and, being an artist, painted branches coming from the blood spots, turning them into peach blossoms, becoming the peach blossom fan! At the end the fan is snapped in half before they part ways.

Did I mention how much I love Chinese literature? I remember Moss Roberts in class said that many of the classics of Chinese literature have that kind of "unsatisfying" ending (i.e Three Kingdoms, Dream of Red Mansions, etc), along with the "noble failures" (i.e Zhuge Liang), and for some reason the Chinese love that.

I also read during my research:

The critic James J.Y. Liu notes “Chinese poets seem to be perpetually bewailing their exile and longing to return home. This may seem sentimental to Western readers, but one should remember the vastness of China, the difficulties of communication... the sharp contrast between the highly cultured life in the main cities and the harsh conditions in the remoter regions of the country, and the importance of family....” It is hardly surprising, he concludes, that nostalgia should have become a "constant, and hence conventional, theme in Chinese poetry."

I know, I think nostalgia is still everywhere, even now! "Bewailing" is the perfect word, haha.

Anyway, I told Odera that I'm a little surprised I'm not more crushed and I didn't have a blow to my self-esteem. Perhaps it's because I only have good memories, I was very happy, and nothing bad happened. I'm only left with that little strange, but sad feeling. I said I was uploading pictures the night before, and I was scrolling through the pictures still on my camera. As I scrolled up I saw all the pictures I took of the places, of him sitting across from me, the food we ate, all the way up to the pictures I took while ice-skating. I remembered how he gasped, with a "Wow!", when I said Moss Roberts signed my copy of Three Kingdoms and the first time he reached to hold my hand. Those really are the moments to live for.

 

[faith]

argharghargh. So I ralized that if KM ships to Japan, that means they have separate stock for Japan. This means that if something sells out in the US and France (and maybe the UK) I can still get it there...

Or it WOULD mean that if I were larger. I checked the stuff I was interested in and I realized that there will never, ever, be my size left in Japan when it is not left in the US or France.

Bummer. I'm not getting bigger, so THEY need to get bigger.
Better get to scarfing that popcorn, Japanese women!

 

[flowersofnight]

It’s not random so I don’t think it’s hardware issue.

Actually I think this does sound like some sort of hardware issue. Maybe the cable to the display is loose (if this is a laptop this'll be a pain to adjust), or maybe your video card or screen went bad. Can you take a photo of what it looks like?

Meanwhile: the Hindu equivalent of sokushinbutsu-ism makes the news:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldne ... ating.html

 

[Wandering_Fox]

Meanwhile: the Hindu equivalent of sokushinbutsu-ism makes the news:
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/worldne ... ating.html

That is one heck of a meditative trance if it's lasted nearly 6 months of him being locked in a commercial freezer Some people have incredible awareness when they are unconscious, though. My grandmother used to fall asleep watching her soaps but she could always wake up later and tell you exactly what happened.

My workplace randomly stocked the fridge with Lunchables, which I haven't had since I was 10. So guess who's going to have the coolest lunch today d(^___^) (They don't have the Capri Suns or the little desserts though, and I'm not sure if they're actually as good as I remember them from 19 years ago... But you know, nothing ventured, nothing gained )

 

[flowersofnight]

That is one heck of a meditative trance if it's lasted nearly 6 months of him being locked in a commercial freezer

That's strictly amateur hour, they say the Buddha's disciple Kassapa has been meditating inside a mountain for the past 2500 years or so, until Maitreya arrives XD

 

[MissUMana]

Is the mountain refrigerated inside?

 

[flowersofnight]

Probably not, all the tourists up there seem to be wearing short sleeves XD
http://nalanda-onthemove.blogspot.com/2 ... gurpa.html

 

[MissUMana]

Maybe he surreptitiously fled to the South Pole when the climate changed, and they're visiting the wrong place?